A letter to my daughter
Dear Lily,
It's hard to believe it's been 2 years since you came into our lives as a living doll. I remember seeing you for the first time- so little and perfect, so strong and tiny- your eyes wide open, ready to face the big wide world. I remember when they told me, I said it over and over in my head "3lbs. 7oz." I couldn't believe you were so little... I couldn't believe you were so perfect... the palm of your hand no bigger than a nickel, your head smaller than a summer peach. I remember the day your brother came to see me in the hospital, it had only been a day since I saw him last, but it seemed like a year. He seemed older and different all of the sudden, no longer my baby but your big brother. I remember counting the ounces you gained in the NICU, every one a celebration! I remember feeling a mix of nervousness and excitement when they called me just 13 days after you were born to let us know you were ready to come home. You were just over 4 lbs when you came home... even the preemie clothes were way too big. I didn't know how I would manage caring for a preemie that was so tiny and take care of my 2 and 1/2 year old at the same time. I remember watching you breathe... hypnotized by the rise and fall of your body, the peace on your face, and the miracle in my arms. I remember touching your sweet face and smelling her angel head and thinking nothing could be softer or sweeter in the world. I remember your blond hair and hazel eyes. I blinked and you went from a skinny preemie to a chubby newborn. Roll by roll you filled out, and week by week I started to feel the rhythm of being a mother of two.
I remember the feeling of guilt and sadness for Isaiah; that he was being de-throned as the only child and the center of attention... that he wouldn't feel as loved because we now had to divide our time and attention. I remember that guilt disappearing when I witnessed a love between siblings so strong that it took my breath away... and the realization that having a sibling is one of the greatest gifts in the world. I still see me and my brother in you kids... playing together, fighting, laughing, sharing secrets... creating a lifelong bond... to witness this is a dream come true for me. God has filled my cup and let it run over again and again...I don't ever want to forget that.
You were a happy baby, a sweet thing so easy going and smily. I love that you are so little. It made your babyhood seem longer and I know I will never experience the joy of another baby again... so your turning into a toddler is very bittersweet for me. You were so easy to take anywhere always with a hairbow since I made them. You became my little fashion model for all the things I created, the hairbows, headbands, dresses and legwarmers.
I feel like it was just yesterday when your personality just started to bloom...before you could really talk you were so expressive with your scruchy nose smile... the way you talked with your eyes... your first "mama" "bubba" and "dada"... your first wobbly steps. You were so chubby and jolly! Soon your chubby thunder thighs started to disapper... and the dimples in your arms started to fade. Cute, funny, crooked teeth started to emerge. Your wobbly walk turned into a jolly jaunt. Your personality exploded. You are such a mix of tomboy, girly girl and drama queen.
Your very favorite food is fish tacos, 2nd favorite is fried rice! You're definately Mexican and Asian! You love anything sweet and anything that is a carb. You hate your veggies and love fruit. Especially avocados, you'll eat those all day long. You are in love with your little lambie that you call "Nammy". You are often found with lambie's ears in your mouth, biting it! You need it to sleep and snuggle with it when you watch tv. Your favorite tv show is Peep and the Big Wide World. We think this show started your fascination with ducks! You LOVE DUCKS. You also love any kind of bird. Your favorite color is pink. I have to hide your pink shoes if I want you to wear something else because you'll throw a fit if you can't wear them, yelling "PINK, mama, PINK!" You love babies of all kind, animals and baby dolls. You carry the first little pink baby doll I bought you and like to show her things, feed her, kiss her and care for her. You love putting her on the swing with you. You also love playing "little people". You love the swing, you say "Wee fun!" every time you swing. You have suddenly become terrified of slides but you love them at the same time. You scream and scream but when you slide down you laugh and say "FUN!" Daddy and I can't stop laughing! You love to dance and always try to snap when you do!
You love your Bubba. You could never say brother so you called him Bubba from the begining. He's taught you so many things, how to count, how to sing songs, how to say "PEESE and TEEK OOH" (please and thank you). You love playing Ring around the Rosie with him. But sometimes you get extremely jealous of him when it comes to Mama. You are one demanding little diva when it comes to me, pulling me and saying "maaa-maaa peeeeeeese" whenever you need something. You're so attached to me...it's hard sometimes to be everything to you, but I try to cherish this time because you won't need me like this for long! When you are a teenager and you don't want me in your business, I'll have to remember this time when all you want is me and only I can make everything right for you. You've got your Daddy wrapped around your finger. He looks at you a special way, loves to hold you and calls you Honey. He makes you laugh like no one else can!
You're a very special girl Lil. You're sweet and funny and mean and smart! You're tiny and silly and lovely. I love you always! Happy birthday Lily girl.
Mama
It's hard to believe it's been 2 years since you came into our lives as a living doll. I remember seeing you for the first time- so little and perfect, so strong and tiny- your eyes wide open, ready to face the big wide world. I remember when they told me, I said it over and over in my head "3lbs. 7oz." I couldn't believe you were so little... I couldn't believe you were so perfect... the palm of your hand no bigger than a nickel, your head smaller than a summer peach. I remember the day your brother came to see me in the hospital, it had only been a day since I saw him last, but it seemed like a year. He seemed older and different all of the sudden, no longer my baby but your big brother. I remember counting the ounces you gained in the NICU, every one a celebration! I remember feeling a mix of nervousness and excitement when they called me just 13 days after you were born to let us know you were ready to come home. You were just over 4 lbs when you came home... even the preemie clothes were way too big. I didn't know how I would manage caring for a preemie that was so tiny and take care of my 2 and 1/2 year old at the same time. I remember watching you breathe... hypnotized by the rise and fall of your body, the peace on your face, and the miracle in my arms. I remember touching your sweet face and smelling her angel head and thinking nothing could be softer or sweeter in the world. I remember your blond hair and hazel eyes. I blinked and you went from a skinny preemie to a chubby newborn. Roll by roll you filled out, and week by week I started to feel the rhythm of being a mother of two.
I remember the feeling of guilt and sadness for Isaiah; that he was being de-throned as the only child and the center of attention... that he wouldn't feel as loved because we now had to divide our time and attention. I remember that guilt disappearing when I witnessed a love between siblings so strong that it took my breath away... and the realization that having a sibling is one of the greatest gifts in the world. I still see me and my brother in you kids... playing together, fighting, laughing, sharing secrets... creating a lifelong bond... to witness this is a dream come true for me. God has filled my cup and let it run over again and again...I don't ever want to forget that.
You were a happy baby, a sweet thing so easy going and smily. I love that you are so little. It made your babyhood seem longer and I know I will never experience the joy of another baby again... so your turning into a toddler is very bittersweet for me. You were so easy to take anywhere always with a hairbow since I made them. You became my little fashion model for all the things I created, the hairbows, headbands, dresses and legwarmers.
I feel like it was just yesterday when your personality just started to bloom...before you could really talk you were so expressive with your scruchy nose smile... the way you talked with your eyes... your first "mama" "bubba" and "dada"... your first wobbly steps. You were so chubby and jolly! Soon your chubby thunder thighs started to disapper... and the dimples in your arms started to fade. Cute, funny, crooked teeth started to emerge. Your wobbly walk turned into a jolly jaunt. Your personality exploded. You are such a mix of tomboy, girly girl and drama queen.
Your very favorite food is fish tacos, 2nd favorite is fried rice! You're definately Mexican and Asian! You love anything sweet and anything that is a carb. You hate your veggies and love fruit. Especially avocados, you'll eat those all day long. You are in love with your little lambie that you call "Nammy". You are often found with lambie's ears in your mouth, biting it! You need it to sleep and snuggle with it when you watch tv. Your favorite tv show is Peep and the Big Wide World. We think this show started your fascination with ducks! You LOVE DUCKS. You also love any kind of bird. Your favorite color is pink. I have to hide your pink shoes if I want you to wear something else because you'll throw a fit if you can't wear them, yelling "PINK, mama, PINK!" You love babies of all kind, animals and baby dolls. You carry the first little pink baby doll I bought you and like to show her things, feed her, kiss her and care for her. You love putting her on the swing with you. You also love playing "little people". You love the swing, you say "Wee fun!" every time you swing. You have suddenly become terrified of slides but you love them at the same time. You scream and scream but when you slide down you laugh and say "FUN!" Daddy and I can't stop laughing! You love to dance and always try to snap when you do!
You love your Bubba. You could never say brother so you called him Bubba from the begining. He's taught you so many things, how to count, how to sing songs, how to say "PEESE and TEEK OOH" (please and thank you). You love playing Ring around the Rosie with him. But sometimes you get extremely jealous of him when it comes to Mama. You are one demanding little diva when it comes to me, pulling me and saying "maaa-maaa peeeeeeese" whenever you need something. You're so attached to me...it's hard sometimes to be everything to you, but I try to cherish this time because you won't need me like this for long! When you are a teenager and you don't want me in your business, I'll have to remember this time when all you want is me and only I can make everything right for you. You've got your Daddy wrapped around your finger. He looks at you a special way, loves to hold you and calls you Honey. He makes you laugh like no one else can!
You're a very special girl Lil. You're sweet and funny and mean and smart! You're tiny and silly and lovely. I love you always! Happy birthday Lily girl.
Mama
posted by Eileen at 11:13 AM
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