Lilianna Mei – your birth story

Dear Lilianna,

You were named after your Grandma and your Ama- Anna and Mei.

You were born June 29th at 5:35pm. You weighed 3 pounds 7 ounces and measured 15 and ¼ inches long. You were a whole 6 weeks early! We thought we had a little more time, but you had your own plans!

Wednesday June 27th I had an appointment for an ultrasound at the Perinatal clinic to check your growth. Your Daddy stayed home with big brother Isaiah, and had planned to go into work when we returned home. This was your 4th ultrasound, so I just expected to hear things were progressing normally and be sent home. It took a very long time for the doctor to come and see me after the ultrasound. He was reviewing your measurements and a lot of other information that the scans provided. We were surprised to learn that you were not thriving as you should be in utero as much as you should have been. The doctor told me you were measuring much smaller than normal and that the blood flow to the placenta was not at the level it should have been. Your condition was called Intra-Uterine Growth Restriction, or IUGR. He told me to lie on my left side and be very calm and wait until he spoke to my OB/GYN. I was terrified and didn’t know what to think, or what to do. I just kept praying that I wouldn’t lose you. When the doctor came back into the room, he explained that he had discussed the results with my OB (Dr. Truong) and that they wanted us to go straight to the hospital for fetal monitoring and possibly induction of labor. He told me that this was very serious and it needed immediate attention. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I called your daddy and told him that he may not be going into work that day, that we might be having the baby that day. We were so scared and worried.

We arrived at the hospital and were checked in and hooked up to a fetal monitor immediately. My blood pressure and temperature was checked every hour. I had developed serious Preeclampsia. My blood pressure was dangerously high because my body was working overtime trying to pump more blood into the placenta. You and I were both in danger. I was ordered strict bed rest for my hospital stay, only allowed to get up and use the bathroom. 5 vials of blood were taken from me every 12 hours. By the time I had left the hospital I had given over 25 vials of blood to the lab and my arms and veins were so black and blue that people cringed when they looked at them! The results of my labs were pretty much the same every time. My blood work was abnormal and a cause for concern. I was given a steroid shot twice for you, to help with your lung development because at 34 weeks, your lungs may not have had a chance to fully develop yet.

Preeclampsia and IUGR can come out of nowhere so even Dr. Truong was surprised. Especially since just a week before everything appeared normal. This was also very rare because you were not my first pregnancy and the chances of this happening were very slim.

That first night in the hospital was very scary. Dr. Truong came for a visit and helped ease a lot of my fears. She assured me that things were going to be okay. That is may not have worked out as we planned but that it needed to happen, and that she saw no reason that we would both be okay after delivery. For the first time, I stopped being scared and gave all my worries up to God. It also helped that the nurses were so kind and caring. Late that night a Neonatal Intensive Care nurse came to talk to me and tell me what we might expect when you were born. She told me that it was very possible that you would need help breathing by an oxygen tube through the nostrils and possible even a tracheotomy in the throat (in the worst case scenario). Hopefully the steroids had helped. She also told me that it was possible that you would need to be fed intravenously. I asked when she thought we would be able to take you home and she told me, typically- it could be up until your actual due date- which was 6 weeks.

Daddy and Isaiah came in the morning to visit the next day. I missed them so much. It was hard when they had to leave, Isaiah didn’t quite understand at first why I wasn’t coming with them. We told him that mommy had to stay in the hospital so we could get Baby Sister out. Grandma and Grandpa came to help take care of him.

That night (Thursday the 28th) I was given Cervadil and the induction process had begun. This was a pretty painful procedure as the cervadil had to be inserted into my cervix. Overnight I started to have contractions, but not anything I couldn’t handle. The next morning I was 1 cm dilated. I was given Pitocin intravenously. Dr. Zaid (who worked with Dr. Truong) tried to break my water. This was intensely painful and unsuccessful. Later that afternoon I was dilated 4 cm and my water ruptured easily this time. The contractions were now much more intense and closer together. The pain was crazy intense, I had never felt contractions so strong before. I was ready for the epidural at about 4pm. What a great relief and just in time. About an hour later I was feeling this intense urge to push. I had never felt that urge with your brother, so it was a weird experience. I was told to hold off on pushing as much as I could so we could wait for my doctor to get there! I almost could hold it any longer when my doctor came running in. I pushed you out in less than 10 minutes and about 3 pushes.

You started screaming even before you were completely out! Your umbilical cord was wrapped around your neck when you came sliding out! Dr. Truong quickly unwrapped it and you screamed even louder. This was heavenly music to our ears! Daddy cut your cord quickly. It was so small compared to Isaiah’s. I only got to hold you for about 3 seconds before you were whisked away to the NICU. Daddy went with the Dr. and nurses. They were all amazed at how little and strong you were, needing absolutely no respiratory help at all. You scored 9, 9 on your APGAR test, same as Isaiah when he was born!

You weighed a mere 3 pounds 7 ounces at birth. A little more than half of Isaiah’s birth weight (who was 6 pounds 12 ounces). Later I learned that you were a “micro” preemie. Such a little doll. You were absolutely beautiful, so strong and alert. You were wide eyed and curious from the start. The doctor and NICU nurses could believe how well you were doing for your size and gestational age. “She doesn’t know she’s little,” the nurses would tell me, “she’s acting like a big girl already!” You took to the bottle and fed like a champ! They never had to put an IV in you!

On Saturday, your first visitors came to see you. They were Grandma and Grandpa, Ama and Uncle Derek. Poor big brother was not able to come into the NICU to see you because it was just too risky to since he still had a cold. I was discharged on Sunday, having spent 5 days in the hospital. It was one of the hardest things to go home without you. But we knew you were where you needed to be. We visited you later that day and arranged to have big brother Isaiah look at you through a window. He wanted to come in and see his “Baby Sister” so badly, he kept asking to go in. Uncle Paul, Auntie Kathy and Cousin Alyssa also got to see you through the window that day. Ama came to stay with us every few days, so Daddy and I could go and feed and visit with you at the hospital while she stayed home with Isaiah. We spent lots of time holding you against our chests so you could hear our heartbeats and feel close to us. This was called the Kangaroo hold. You slept so well in that hold and felt so peaceful. I felt so close to you when we were together like that, like you were truly mine again. It was hard for me at first because I felt like the nurses knew you better than me. I was so nervous to take care of you the first few days, because I was still trying to recover from labor and regain my strength and because you seemed so tiny and fragile,

Going to see you in the NICU was a bittersweet experience. It was so wonderful to see you and hold you, but so strange for you to be hooked up to so many machines. You had wires and monitors connected everywhere. Machines beeped constantly and your temperature and vitals were taken quite often. You were “plugged in” so we had to be careful not to disconnect you to the monitoring devices when we held you. It was hard to leave you there every time. It felt wrong that you weren’t home, yet we knew that you needed to be there. We learned a lot of things being in the NICU, the nurses gave us great advice and showed us special ways to take care of a preemie baby. We became more and more confident and every day I desired to take you home more. You were little but not as fragile as I thought... I should have known you were a fighter from the very beginning.

You grew stronger and stronger each day. You gained more and more weight. Every day you looked different from the last. One thing that stayed constant was your strawberry blonde hair! Nobody knows where that came from, as your dad and I are both dark haired; but your cousin Alyssa also has strawberry blonde hair (and both Uncle Paul and Aunt Kathy have dark hair).

After a week and 2 days they removed your Gavage (feeding tube) and moved you out of the isolette into an open crib. I was so surprised to see you outside of the box when I came in Monday morning! We were told constantly by nurses, “it won’t be long until she goes home, she’s doing so well…” but never really given a solid date. I spoke to the one of the doctors on Wednesday and he told me that you would probably discharged “sometime next week”. Then out of nowhere, the next day, we got the call. You were ready to come home! The doctor saw no reason you shouldn’t be home. You are so full of surprises and constantly keeping us on our toes! We were still planning on doing some last minute things for your homecoming, but were so anxious to pick you up!

Thursday July 12th, you were discharged. You were just a day shy of 2 weeks old. You weighed 4 pounds and 1 ounce. You had gained over 10 ounces in less than 2 weeks! It was a unreal feeling walking into the NICU for the last time. This had been the only place you’d ever known since you were born. The sights and sounds and sterile environment and nurses were all home to you, and second home to me and your dad. It was the best feeling to disconnect you from all those wires and not worry about unplugging you! You were the tiniest little baby in your car seat, we had to rig it so make you fit in it! On our way out everyone congratulated us and it was so great to walk through those hospital doors with you for the very first time.

You have been home now for just a day and a half and it has been wonderful. Your big brother absolutely adores you and can’t keep himself from peeking at you all the time. He held you for the first time yesterday and was so proud. Your noises and squeaks are like a little kitten, and your faces are so precious! You have got the poutiest little lips! You’re such a doll!

We thank God for delivering you into our lives and watching over our precious miracle! May He continue to be with you all the days of your life!

We love you Lily and welcome to our family,
Mommy, Daddy, and Isaiah