To my son, Isaiah on his 6 month birthday.

Your short life on this earth has been a wonder, a joy and a miracle. You are straight from heaven. I always want to remember you this way- your innocence and your smiles. You are still so little, but growing and changing so fast and so much. I wish that I could freeze this period of time and travel back to it- your sweet smell, your powdery soft skin, your downy hair, your chubbiness, your laughter and even your cries. Here are 6 snapshots of you that will forever stay in my heart.

1. You're lying in my arms, nursing. You’re intoxicated, “milk-drunk” we call it. Your eyes roll back in your head and your hand grabs at the necklace Daddy game me when you were born. You open your eyes and look at the pendant, letting it dangle. It catches the light and sparkles and you stop nursing to smile at me. Even when Daddy is away at work, we will always be together- our little family.

2. It’s 7:45 am and I am awoken by a strange sound. I sit up and bed and realize it’s you, I hear you laughing on the baby monitor. I sneak into your room to see you. You’re playing by yourself, looking in your crib mirror and cracking up. You are giggling so hard! You are delighted by the “other baby” in the mirror. You wake up happy most mornings. I watch you for several minutes as you play and babble and squeal. I feel so blessed to have a happy little boy. Always smiling- just like your Daddy.

3. As soon as I put you down, you roll onto your stomach and start to move. You are so busy! You have so many places to go and so much to explore. You’re not quite crawling, but you’re moving- rocking back and forth on all fours, and inching along on your stomach. You’re fascinated with every little thing, feeling it carefully with your fingers and then trying to put it in your mouth. You won’t be little for long. Soon you will be crawling, walking, running. I cherish this time, before you want too much independence. When you still want and need your mommy.

4. We are at the drug store shopping and you are looking around happily. A man comes up to us to look at you. He is poorly dressed in many layers with odd clothes. It appears that he hasn’t showered in awhile and he looks to be homeless or impoverished. I am a little weary of him and guarded, but my instincts tell me he is harmless, just a man admiring a baby. You smile at him from ear to ear. “He smiled at me!” he says, surprised. “I’ve never seen a baby smile so much, and at me!” He looks at me with a smile that matches yours, and then down at you and says, “You’ve just made my day little one! Thank you.” You remind me that we are all the same inside, and everyone deserves sunshine and love- no matter what their circumstances.

5. You see Daddy come into the room, arriving home from work. He’s had a bad day. But as soon as he lays eyes on you, you smile so big. You seem to smile with every inch of your body. You’re not yet shy of showing emotions, like adults are. Your dad tickles you and lifts you in the air, you laugh- a special laugh- one just for him. I love seeing my two guys together- such a special father-son bond that I hope will only grow stronger. You’re so innocent and so completely happy. It’s contagious and spreads to me and your dad instantly. “How can you have a bad day, when you come home to this? My happy baby boy and my beautiful wife” he says. We’ve never smiled so much before. You bring us joy every single day.

6. It is close to your bed time and you are ready to nurse. I’ve been busy doing the dishes and wanted to finish, so I hold off feeding you for a few minutes. You start to get impatient- a sweet look of desperation in your eyes, as you are hungry and tired, so close to the edge. I stop what I’m doing to feed you. You are frantic- grabbing at my hair, my shirt, my chest. Finally, you are latched on and a wave of peace comes over you. You close your eyes and drift into wonderland. It is an amazing feeling knowing that only I, your mother can do this for you.

This is you, frozen in time. Pictures in my mind- a thousand thoughts, a million feelings and endless love.