NEW MAMA SKILLS

1. Breastfeeding. I am a Master. I am ready, willing and able- anywhere, anytime - thanks to my breastfeeding apron: The Hooter Hider.

2. One handed eating. I am pretty much an expert at this (and so is Dave). Holding a baby and eating is really hard to do gracefully. But now, Dave and I have both become ambidextrous -being able to do it with the right or left hand.

3. Breastfeeding and one handed eating at the same time. I am also able to hold a conversation in addition to the above. And I've developed a liking for cold food. It's not tasty unless it's at least lukewarm. Hot food is totally overrated!

4. The snipe wipe. Dave has also mastered this skill. Isaiah hates having his face wiped. We get in and out before he even sees it coming, so we only get a second of yucky face.

5. The poopie diaper detector. I am like Santa Claus. You know, "he sees you when you're sleeping, he knows when you're awake..." only I know when Isaiah is taking a poop. I can even predict it before he starts grunting. I tell Dave, it's going to happen any second. And Presto! He poops. Dave is amazed. I guess since Isaiah came outta me, I can tell when something is going to come outta him! I can also tell when Isaiah has pooped when he does it stealth-like. I will say, "Dave, he pooped." And he will say, "I don't think he did, I can't smell anything, and he didn't grunt." Then we check, and there it is. I don't know how I know. It's like a 6th sense.

6. Diapering upside down. Lately Isaiah HATES having his diaper changed. He is so squirmy and wiggly, he always wants to turn over and play. So I have learned to change his diaper upside down (this is much more difficult with a poopie diaper). I am still a novice at this, and many times, I am tempted to just let him be naked all day. I have to admit, it is fun to see his chubby little baby butt though, and it's hard to resist playing butt bongo.

7. Carseats 101. It took my bestfriend Marissa coming over for me to realize I had mastered this subject. Bless her heart, to give me a break, Marissa carried the carseat everywhere we went. I could tell it was heavy and awkward for her, especially since she's not used to it (but she never complained, saying, "No, no, it's okay- I got it"). And I remember how freakin' impossible it seemed to get that darn seat into the base for the first couple of weeks. I would get all anxious and stressed out, breaking into a mild sweat. Now, it is just easy as pie for me to plop that thing in, hear it click and go. And although Isaiah has gotten heavier, my arms have also gotten stronger. Who needs free weights or the gym when you have a carseat and a baby?

I'm sure there are many more mothering skills to learn. I must say, PATIENCE is the most important thing I have learned. It truly is a virtue.