I love CRACK CREME!

Okay, so my stretch marks are outta control! It looks like 10 cats got a hold of my belly and went to town. It's really bad and I'm not exaggerating! I have never seen anything this bad. Even Dr. Yang cringes everytime he sees my belly. And Peanut is still not finished growing! There goes my supermodel career! Lately my stretchies (as I like to call them) have been burning and itching like crazy! It is so bad I can't sleep at night. So I went to Target and tried 2 or 3 anti-itch solutions. Among them was Butt Paste, but I found the holy grail in CRACK CREME! This stuff is oh so good. It goes on, seeps in and I feel like I am normal again for a little while. Too bad it makes me smell like old people. I cannot go anywhere without my CRACK CREME. I wake up every few hours and have to reapply it. Dave thinks I am addicted! I am telling you, this stuff is good! It is for dry cracked skin, so if you have dry cracked skin, this stuff really works! I use it so much I think I am going to have to purchase my third tube (in the last 4 days) soon. I hope the baby doesn't come out smelling like old people.